it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I touched a dick in church today
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
