U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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