I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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