Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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