me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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