he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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