Betty ford says i'm here all night
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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