Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
