This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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