I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
