She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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