hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
