A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
