Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
