My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
