awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
