so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I touched a dick in church today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
