no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
