May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
