I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
