Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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