when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
