i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
