people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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