just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
