Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize