Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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