I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
