does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
