his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He better not be in your backpack
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am available for nakedness
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
