K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So apparently I’m into choking now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
