guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
