i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
