forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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