Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
porn star boner night. come get it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
