its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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