About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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