Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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