Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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