I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Couch. On fire.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
