oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
