Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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