My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
