i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I love having hate sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
