U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
