her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize