bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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