I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
