People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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