He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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