I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
