remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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