Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
