it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
