I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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