toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
false alarm, still single
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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